As I have talked about before, I am an egg donor. I just finished up my screening process last week. I had two doctors appointments last week. Both at 7:30am for which I had to get up at 6:00am. Not fun. The first appointment, on Monday, was an ultrasound appointment. I got there a few minutes early, signed in and waited. And waited. And waited. I waited 45 minutes for them to call me. Now I know that doctors offices get backed up. I understand that things happen. But I had the first appointment of the day. Or so I thought. Apparently they don't limit the number of appointments they make at 7:30. So there were a ton of people there. I have a class that starts at 9:10 and I thought that to get to class on time I probably needed to leave around 8:30. So I was antsy.
Around 8:15 they finally called me back. They did apologize for making me wait and explained that a pregnant patient had had an emergency that morning that caused the delay. So then, of course, I felt like a jerk for being so impatient. So I'm trying to be extra nice and cooperative and the nurse tells me I need to go pee (actually she said "empty your bladder" but that sounds weird, like my bladder is a suitcase or something). She also tells me that if I have in a tampon, I need to take it out. I thought that was a little weird since I thought they were just looking at my ovaries, but whatever. I'm not a doctor, what do I know? So I just followed her instructions and got settled. Then the ultrasound technician came in and took out this big scary stick. Seriously, huge. She then informed me that this ultrasound was going to be transvaginal. WHAT!!!!???? No one warned me about this. I was not pleased. I told her as much. She told me that my coordinator was supposed to explain all of it to me. But the technician took the time to tell me about what she was going to do and why. She said she needed to check the lining of my uterus, to make sure everything down there was healthy, and then she needed to count the egg follicles in each ovary to ensure that I am fertile enough to donate. I calmed down a little bit and she started the ultrasound. At first it was fine. It was a little bit uncomfortable, but nothing I couldn't handle. Then she started to look at my ovaries. It was awful. She was jabbing me in the side of the uterus at this horrible angle. The angle of entry of the wand was killing my poor little vagina and cervix. And she was literally using the wand to shove the side of my uterus up against my ovaries. It felt like there was an alien being trapped in my body trying to stab its way out. Horrible. The next day I had to put in my new Nuva Ring and it was so painful I teared up. My cervix and vagina were sore and swollen from the ultrasound.
On Wednesday, I had my second appointment, this time for a physical examination with the doctor. I again waited 45 minutes to be called back. This time I was given no explanation for why it had taken so long. The nurse took me to an exam room and gave me the horrible paper clothes to wear. I changed into said horrible paper clothes and waited. Another 15 minutes. 15 minutes sitting in a cold air conditioned room wearing nothing but a paper vest (if you can even call it that) with a sheet over my lap. I was miserable. I finally saw the doctor at 8:30, a full hour after my appointment time. The exam was quick and painless. They asked some health history questions and checked me over. It think this visit was mostly for the doctor to see me. I imagine I need the approval of an actual doctor to be an egg donor and this was the first time I'd met her (I applied in April). Then they made me watch a video about the possible side effects of egg donation. I was glad at first to watch this video. If I'm going to do this, I want to know what I'm getting myself into. But the video was designed for women who were having their eggs harvested, fertilized and then reimplanted. Since I'm only doing the first half of that, I have no idea how much of it applies to me and how much is from the pregnancy itself. I was taking notes and whatnot so I could ask questions when it was over. They had also given me a release form to sign which said that I had watched the video and asked any questions that I had. This confirmed my understanding that I was going to get to ask questions. When the video was over, I signed the paper and opened the door like I had been instructed to do. One of the women who works the front desk came and got my form and told me I could leave. I tried to ask questions and she told me she didn't know any of the answers. So I left.
At this point, I'm not sure how I feel about this whole thing. I really do want to do this. I want to help (and I need the money if I'm going to be honest). I also know that all the things that are frustrating me are not the fault of the individuals or couples seeking to have children who would benefit from my donation. And when you get right down to it, I'm giving them my eggs, not the clinic. But I really feel like the clinic is struggling. It always takes them much longer than promised to return my calls (Example: After my last appointment I was promised a follow up call in "a couple of days" a couple, as in two. It's been a week and half, still no call). I wait ridiculous amounts of time at every appointment. And, the big one, they are not getting informed consent from me because they aren't informing me. I did not consent to a transvaginal ultrasound until seconds before because no one told me it was necessary. My consent form is useless because no one actually answered my questions. I am planning to call my coordinator soon and insist on talking to a doctor or nurse who can answer my questions about side effects. To do this I have to get shot full of hormones and put under for an extraction proceedure; I think it is reasonable for me to want to talk to someone about that beforehand. Even so, I am willing to do this. I am giving a stranger a part of my body. Maybe I'm wrong here, but I think that's a pretty big deal. All I want is a little respect during the process. Respect for my time and respect for my body. Is that so much to ask?
