Fun-loving 20something brunette seeking fantastic blondes to make up her blonterage for pool days, girls nights in and wild nights out.
These are a must:
- MUST BE BLONDE (natural or not so natural applicants will be considered but if you dye, do it well)
- Must have at least a bachelors degree
- Must be gainfully employed (or graduate student)
- Must love to dance
- Must love Wagon Wheel
- Must be willing to go in costume to non-costume parties (think Legally Blonde)
- Must live in the Columbia area
- Must not judge what other people eat
- Must love dogs
These are a plus:
- Can apply fake eyelashes to other people
- Is planning to reside in Columbia for the forseeable future
- Loves Target
- Wears a size 8 shoe (for tradesies!)
Please send your application, with picture, to rumleral@gmail.com. If you are selected for an interview, you will be contacted.
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Friday, July 27, 2012
Kids
I have always wanted kids. A whole mess of 'em. I've said for years that I wanted 6. I've also always known that I would adopt most if not all of those 6 kids. (And before you ask, no I am not adopted. No one in my immediate family is adopted. It's just always been my heart to adopt. And it just makes sense: I want a kid, you have one you don't want. I'll take him or her off your hands for you and I don't have to wreck my vagina. But I digress...) In college I dated a wonderful guy who also wanted kids. We planned a future together. Marriage, kids, house with a white picket fence, the whole nine yards. So there I was, 23 years old happily dating my boyfriend of three years with whom I had a solid plan for the rest of my life. I knew what I was going to do (be a lawyer and mom) where I was going to do it (South Carolina) and who I was going to do it with (Chip). Then we broke up. The how and why of that are complicated and honestly still painful so I'm going to skip over that. The point is the relationship ended and there went my perfect boyfriend and my perfectly planned future.
My current awesome sauce boyfriend does not want children. At all. Doesn't even want to consider it. This throws a tiny wrench into my 6 kids plan. I know I'm only 24, I have plenty of time to build a family. You don't have to marry everyone you date, I know that. I know that there are perfectly happy couples out there who know for a fact that their different life plans are going to eventually end their relationship. And they're okay with that. They live and love in the moment. And that's great. Really, it is. But it's just not for me. I knew that if I was going to have any shot at a happy healthy relationship with Charles there had to be at least a chance that we could go the distance. Which meant that I had to consider whether or not I would be willing to not have kids.
So I started to think about it. Why did I want kids in the first place? Would I be a good mom? The answer to the first one is easy: kids are awesome. That's just a fact, people. When you talk to a child you get to see the world in a whole new awesome way. Their innocence allows them to see the good in everything and everyone. And their ability to see the good in everyone allows them to love you in a way that adults just can't. The love of a child is such a precious thing. My god brother, Ty, will drop what's he's doing, walk over to me and hug me saying "Annie, you're my best friend" for no apparent reason. I want that in my life. Also, kids are hilarious. Before his bath last night, Ty danced around the bathroom singing "Country girl shake it for me, girl. Shake it for me, girl. Shake it for me!" while doing some incomprehensible wiggling dance. It was hilarious. And last weekend when we went to the beach, Payton (Our friend Linda's son) almost made me pee in my pants on the way home. Ty called out to me from the backseat "Annie! Payton licked his shoe!" "Licked his shoe?" I'm thinking...wtf? I thought for sure Ty was just making up some nonsense to get Payton in trouble and to get to talk again because they had been bickering for the first few hours of the ride so I had told them both to not talk at all until we stopped for lunch (I figured it wouldn't lat but it was worth a shot). I turn around and Payton has dirt allllll over his mouth. His chin is covered. It looks like he ate a chocolate ice cream cone. He had licked the bottoms of his Spiderman flip flops completely clean. When I asked him why he had done that he said "They were dirty" as if that was the most logical thing in the world, as if we all licked the bottoms of our shoes to clean them. I thought I was going to die laughing. Kids are unintentionally hilarious and bring joy into the lives of the people around them and that's pretty awesome.
The second question, will I be a good parent, gives me more pause. I am not a patient woman. I can also have a temper. I got both of these qualities from my dad. And while I love my dad dearly, I am also rather terrified of him. He and I no longer have a relationship because anytime I express an opinion he disagrees with, anytime I'm not who he wants me to be, he completely loses it. Just loses his shit and screams and rages and is so angry he eventually literally can't form coherent sentences. There is never any resolution. So I just stopped talking to him. I do not want to be that kind of parent. But the thing is, I don't think my dad wants to be that kind of parent either. I think he just can't help it. He is who he is and I am his daughter. I know I have some of the qualities that make him that way (he's also fanatically religious which I am not). Who will I be when my child makes a decision I don't agree with? Will I rage and yell and effectively kill communication like my dad? Or will I be able to talk to them and try to see their point of view the way my mom does? Is it even okay for me to have kids when I can't answer that question? If I know there's a 50/50 chance that I won't be so hot at this parenting thing, should I even be allowed to try it? I don't know.
In all of this thinking I've concluded that I don't know anymore whether or not I want children. I do know, however, that I want to make that decision myself. I don't want to just defer to my partner's wishes. I'm way too opinionated for that.
Most of you (if anyone has actually read this far) probably think that I shouldn't be worrying about this now, it's too early. I still have 2 years of grad school to finish so I won't be having kids for at least that long. And you're right. But I can't wait until then to make up my mind. When I come to that moment, the moment I can have kids if I want them, shouldn't I already have my mind made up? Don't I need to know where I'm going to know how to get there? I don't know. When I was 6 and wanted to grow up to be a ballerina, I knew I would also be a mom. In high school when I wanted to be a pediatric cardiothoracic surgeon (ha!), I knew I would also be a mom. At any given point in my past, past-me looked into the future and saw kids. Saw mommyhood. Now that I'm reconsidering that HUGE part of my future, I'm feeling unhinged. I know I have direction. I'm in law school for christ's sake, my career is chosen. But I hate law school. A lot. If I could be wrong about the mommy thing, maybe I'm wrong about the lawyer thing too. And if I'm wrong about both of those things then who the hell am I and where am I going? I'm not sure I know anymore. Is there a such thing as a mid-20s crisis?
My current awesome sauce boyfriend does not want children. At all. Doesn't even want to consider it. This throws a tiny wrench into my 6 kids plan. I know I'm only 24, I have plenty of time to build a family. You don't have to marry everyone you date, I know that. I know that there are perfectly happy couples out there who know for a fact that their different life plans are going to eventually end their relationship. And they're okay with that. They live and love in the moment. And that's great. Really, it is. But it's just not for me. I knew that if I was going to have any shot at a happy healthy relationship with Charles there had to be at least a chance that we could go the distance. Which meant that I had to consider whether or not I would be willing to not have kids.
So I started to think about it. Why did I want kids in the first place? Would I be a good mom? The answer to the first one is easy: kids are awesome. That's just a fact, people. When you talk to a child you get to see the world in a whole new awesome way. Their innocence allows them to see the good in everything and everyone. And their ability to see the good in everyone allows them to love you in a way that adults just can't. The love of a child is such a precious thing. My god brother, Ty, will drop what's he's doing, walk over to me and hug me saying "Annie, you're my best friend" for no apparent reason. I want that in my life. Also, kids are hilarious. Before his bath last night, Ty danced around the bathroom singing "Country girl shake it for me, girl. Shake it for me, girl. Shake it for me!" while doing some incomprehensible wiggling dance. It was hilarious. And last weekend when we went to the beach, Payton (Our friend Linda's son) almost made me pee in my pants on the way home. Ty called out to me from the backseat "Annie! Payton licked his shoe!" "Licked his shoe?" I'm thinking...wtf? I thought for sure Ty was just making up some nonsense to get Payton in trouble and to get to talk again because they had been bickering for the first few hours of the ride so I had told them both to not talk at all until we stopped for lunch (I figured it wouldn't lat but it was worth a shot). I turn around and Payton has dirt allllll over his mouth. His chin is covered. It looks like he ate a chocolate ice cream cone. He had licked the bottoms of his Spiderman flip flops completely clean. When I asked him why he had done that he said "They were dirty" as if that was the most logical thing in the world, as if we all licked the bottoms of our shoes to clean them. I thought I was going to die laughing. Kids are unintentionally hilarious and bring joy into the lives of the people around them and that's pretty awesome.
The second question, will I be a good parent, gives me more pause. I am not a patient woman. I can also have a temper. I got both of these qualities from my dad. And while I love my dad dearly, I am also rather terrified of him. He and I no longer have a relationship because anytime I express an opinion he disagrees with, anytime I'm not who he wants me to be, he completely loses it. Just loses his shit and screams and rages and is so angry he eventually literally can't form coherent sentences. There is never any resolution. So I just stopped talking to him. I do not want to be that kind of parent. But the thing is, I don't think my dad wants to be that kind of parent either. I think he just can't help it. He is who he is and I am his daughter. I know I have some of the qualities that make him that way (he's also fanatically religious which I am not). Who will I be when my child makes a decision I don't agree with? Will I rage and yell and effectively kill communication like my dad? Or will I be able to talk to them and try to see their point of view the way my mom does? Is it even okay for me to have kids when I can't answer that question? If I know there's a 50/50 chance that I won't be so hot at this parenting thing, should I even be allowed to try it? I don't know.
In all of this thinking I've concluded that I don't know anymore whether or not I want children. I do know, however, that I want to make that decision myself. I don't want to just defer to my partner's wishes. I'm way too opinionated for that.
Most of you (if anyone has actually read this far) probably think that I shouldn't be worrying about this now, it's too early. I still have 2 years of grad school to finish so I won't be having kids for at least that long. And you're right. But I can't wait until then to make up my mind. When I come to that moment, the moment I can have kids if I want them, shouldn't I already have my mind made up? Don't I need to know where I'm going to know how to get there? I don't know. When I was 6 and wanted to grow up to be a ballerina, I knew I would also be a mom. In high school when I wanted to be a pediatric cardiothoracic surgeon (ha!), I knew I would also be a mom. At any given point in my past, past-me looked into the future and saw kids. Saw mommyhood. Now that I'm reconsidering that HUGE part of my future, I'm feeling unhinged. I know I have direction. I'm in law school for christ's sake, my career is chosen. But I hate law school. A lot. If I could be wrong about the mommy thing, maybe I'm wrong about the lawyer thing too. And if I'm wrong about both of those things then who the hell am I and where am I going? I'm not sure I know anymore. Is there a such thing as a mid-20s crisis?
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
Things that I hate
1. Cold. I hate to be cold. Seriously. I bring a sweater with me almost everywhere, even in SC summer heat because apparently triple digit outside temps justify turning the thermostat to negative gagillion.
There are many many more things that I hate. I'm good at hating (which is kind of sad, isn't it?). These are just the things I could think of when I started. It's kind of a downer to start my blog with but this is what was on my mind so this is what y'all get. Maybe I'll make a "Things I love" list one day. We'll see.
2. People who do not speed. Just get out of my way.
3. Listening to people talk about sports, especially during the game. My boyfriend loves basketball. He probably loves it more than he loves me. I've made peace with that. I've also made peace with watching basketball. I even kind of like it. (The fact that Kevin Love is one of the most beautiful men on the planet helps. Go USA!) But I cannot stand the stupid sportscasters who will not shut up during the game. "He shoots! He scores!" Yeah, thanks. I saw him, I don't need your eye witness account, okay? My grand daddy, brilliant man that he is, watches baseball on mute.
4. Needles. Those motherfuckers are scary. I know that at 24 years old I should be able to handle getting a shot. I know they don't hurt that much. I know that I need them to stay healthy. But they still scare me half to death.
5. Heights. Also scary.
6. People who say "Oh I don't read." You might as well say "I'm really stupid." It would have the same effect with me. Note: This is not the same as "I don't have time to read" which is valid especially in the grad school world.
7. Law School. Law school is a life ruiner, it ruins people lives. I hate the Socratic method. I hate the gigantic text books. I hate that I can't ask questions. Maybe, I don't want to yell at you and tell you you're wrong. Maybe I just want to clarify your position. Or maybe I'm just confused. But no, if you speak in class you better make a statement and be read to defend it. What the hell kind of way to learn is that? I also hate the fact that every one you come into contact with is an argumentative asshole. Not that I hate argumentative assholes in general as I myself am one. But when you and everyone around you love to argue just for the sake of it, it's really hard to just sit down with someone and talk about yourself or your day or whatever which makes it extremely hard to make friends. My boyfriend has managed to make lots of friends in law school and since he likes me, they let me hang out with them. But after two years with the same 80 people I still don't feel comfortable or like I'm part of the group. I don't expect that my next two years will change that.
8. Anyone who does not see the Mean Girls reference in #7. It's right there people!
9. People who write in Library books. I don't care that you think this line is "important" or "Brilliant!" Also, it's just disrespectful to write in a book that doesn't belong to you. Shame shame.
10. Sports Cars. Oh, your car can go from 0 to 1000 in 2 seconds? I don't care. Also, why buy a car that is designed to go really really fast when you have zero opportunities to drive it really really fast? This is not the autobahn, kids.
11. Men who try to impress me with their sports cars. See above.
12. Car Sticker Families. What is the appeal here? Since when has anyone wanted to be portrayed as a stick figure? And the ones depicted in other shapes are even worse. I jog past one house who put flip flop stickers on their van to depict their family. That just doesn't even make any sense.
13. Slut Shaming. Leave me and my vagina alone. My sexuality or sexual expression is absolutely none of your business, unless I'm sleeping with you. Which I'm not so there.
14. Children who scream "CHIHUAHUA!" and then run towards my dog. No, you cannot pet her. She's scared of you. Probably because your hollering sounded like a war cry to her. Leave her alone.
15. Business School. It takes my boyfriend away from me, stresses him out, drains his energy and then sends him back to me exhausted with a shit ton of work to do. Unacceptable.
16. Social work students who say "South Carolina is so backwards. I'm getting out of here as soon as I graduate." If you want to leave this state, that's totally fine. If you get a job somewhere else or just feel a special calling to work in another location, by all means go. But fleeing our state because it has problems is the antithesis of being a good social worker. You are supposed to help, to effective positive change, to speak truth to power. Isn't that why you chose the field of social work? Don't turn your back on a state that needs you so desperately.
11. Men who try to impress me with their sports cars. See above.
12. Car Sticker Families. What is the appeal here? Since when has anyone wanted to be portrayed as a stick figure? And the ones depicted in other shapes are even worse. I jog past one house who put flip flop stickers on their van to depict their family. That just doesn't even make any sense.
13. Slut Shaming. Leave me and my vagina alone. My sexuality or sexual expression is absolutely none of your business, unless I'm sleeping with you. Which I'm not so there.
14. Children who scream "CHIHUAHUA!" and then run towards my dog. No, you cannot pet her. She's scared of you. Probably because your hollering sounded like a war cry to her. Leave her alone.
15. Business School. It takes my boyfriend away from me, stresses him out, drains his energy and then sends him back to me exhausted with a shit ton of work to do. Unacceptable.
16. Social work students who say "South Carolina is so backwards. I'm getting out of here as soon as I graduate." If you want to leave this state, that's totally fine. If you get a job somewhere else or just feel a special calling to work in another location, by all means go. But fleeing our state because it has problems is the antithesis of being a good social worker. You are supposed to help, to effective positive change, to speak truth to power. Isn't that why you chose the field of social work? Don't turn your back on a state that needs you so desperately.
17. People who malign college greek life. If you weren't greek, then please don't tell me how harmful sororities are for young women. My sorority built me up and supported me. Don't blaspheme Tridelta or you and I will have words.
18. Speed Bumps. I like to drive fast, get out of my way. However, I love those "Speed Humps" signs because they are hilarious.
19. People who look gorgeous at the gym. That is simply not fair.
20. Diet Soda. If I want something without calories, I'll drink water.
21. Orange. I grew up in Columbia. I've been a Gamecocks fan all my life. I just have this mental block against the color orange.
18. Speed Bumps. I like to drive fast, get out of my way. However, I love those "Speed Humps" signs because they are hilarious.
19. People who look gorgeous at the gym. That is simply not fair.
20. Diet Soda. If I want something without calories, I'll drink water.
21. Orange. I grew up in Columbia. I've been a Gamecocks fan all my life. I just have this mental block against the color orange.
There are many many more things that I hate. I'm good at hating (which is kind of sad, isn't it?). These are just the things I could think of when I started. It's kind of a downer to start my blog with but this is what was on my mind so this is what y'all get. Maybe I'll make a "Things I love" list one day. We'll see.
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