Defining Feminism

I ordered a great shirt today.  An awesome friend from Wofford posted a picture of it on her facebook (I'm not going to name her here because I didn't ask her permission).  As soon as she told me where to get it, I ordered it.  Here it is:

The quote on this shirt is from Cheris Kramarae.

I love this shirt.  I also definitely think this, treating women like full members of society, is at least part of what feminism is about.  But if I was asked to define feminism, this isn't what I would say.  This got me thinking about what feminism is.  So I looked into some definitions.  Most definitions talk about a movement or a struggle that seeks to help women gain equality to men.  I understand why that is.  I understand that feminism began at a time when women didn't have some of the most basic rights that were afford to men.  I get the historical context.  First wave, second wave, radical, liberal, all of that.  I know about that.  But I think we need a new definition.

Feminist scholar and author bell hooks examines the question of how to define feminism in the second chapter of her book Feminist Theory: From Margin to Center.  The chapter is called "Feminism: A Movement to End Sexist Oppression."  She criticizes the standard definition because she says that it is a definition formed at a time when the movement was composed almost entirely of rich white women.  Since rich white women were the movement, they defined it, and in so doing they excluded the concerns and voices of women of color and women in lower socioeconomic classes.  She calls for a redefinition.  She says "Feminism is the struggle to end sexist oppression.  Its aim is not to benefit solely any specific group of women, any particular race or class of women.  It does not privilege women over men.  It has the power to transform in a meaningful way all of our lives."  I really like her definition.  I like its inclusiveness.  I also like that she points out that we don't want to overpower men.

bell hooks also has a book called Feminism is for Everybody: Passionate Politics.  It is utterly fantastic.  (It's also pretty short and an easy read.  I own it if anyone would like to borrow it.)  I think that this book title is the best definition that I have come across.  Feminism is for everyone.  For all races, socioeconomic levels.  All sexual identities and orientations.  For men and women.  Feminism is not about lifting women up above men.  It's not even just about lifting women up to be equal to men (although that's part of it).  It's also about lifting men up where they are disadvantaged by their gender.  It's about making it safe for men to show emotion.  It's about changing a military system that requires our young men to register for a draft, but not our young women.  Think about that.  What does that say?  I think it tells those young men that their lives are worth less than mine, that they are disposable.  That's unacceptable.  I'm just as angry about that as I am about the pay gap.

I could talk about what I think feminism is for hours.  Seriously.  So I have had a really hard time trying to come up with a concise definition, but here is my try:  Feminism is a social and political movement that seeks to ensure that no person is restrained by gender bias or stereotyping from being themselves or from achieving all that they are capable of achieving.  Feminism is about destroying the boxes that patriarchy forces us into so that all people can move freely in all spheres of being, doing and expressing.

Maybe that's not a good definition.  And I know that a lot of feminist won't like that I have taken the focus off of women.  Let me make it clear why I did that.  I included men because as long as the dialogue about feminism stays in these gendered terms, it remains a struggle of "us" against "them."  It remains a fight.  But feminism really is for everybody.  I think if we can reframe this discussion, not in completely genderless terms, but in terms that are more inclusive, we can move from a fight to collaboration.

I would love to hear from some of y'all about this.  What is your feminism?  How would you define it?  Also, if any of you are interested in reading further about this topic, I have several books on it that you are welcome to borrow.  Or if anyone has any reading suggestions for me, please share.

In Defense of Greek Life

Over the weekend, I went to the gym (shocker, I know).  On my way in, I passed a group of women who I assume, based on their dress and proximity to the Greek village, were on their way to Sorority Rush.  The greek women of The University of South Carolina have been out in force, wearing their letters and repping their respective sororities like champs since the start of classes.  It makes me miss my sorority.  I know that some of you are thinking, "She's greek?  But she's so feminist and liberal.  I thought sororities were hazing-ridden trophy wife training grounds."

Look, I know that horrible things happen in greek organizations.  They also happen within sports organizations, student groups and classrooms.  Hazing sucks.  It's an evil, mean spirited cycle of hate and violence.  I support efforts by schools, universities and the legislature to stamp it out.  But I get so frustrated when people insist that hazing defines the greek experience.  I hate it when articles talk about greek women like we're all idiots for enduring hazing.  First, not all greek women experience hazing and assuming that your experience (or the experience of someone you know or read about) can be extrapolated to all of us is exceedingly unfair.  Second, even in the case of members of greek organizations who have experienced hazing, what makes you think it is your place to judge them?  The psychology of abuse is incredibly complex.  So please try not to judge others or look down on them for not leaving violent or oppressive situations.  You don't know what you would do in their shoes until you have actually been in their shoes.  Again, let me say here that I know everyone has different life experiences and thus every sorority woman and fraternity man will experience greek life differently.  I want to make it clear that I do not presume to speak for anyone but myself.

Because of the hazing issue, some articles I have read have come right out and said that being a greek woman and being a feminist are mutually exclusive. Apparently I can't be both.  But I am.  (I've decided this makes me a mythical creature of some sort, like an elf or a centuar.  I did always want to be Galadriel.)  So I call bullshit.  I'm a feminist (a radical feminist according to a survey we took in my feminist philosophy class).  I'm also a Delta Delta Delta.  I cannot and will not give up or compromise either of these identities.  So to help people understand this, I want to talk about some of the things that I learned from my sorority.

Things Tridelta Taught Me:

1. My opinion is valuable.  And the opinions of others are equally valuable.  Decision making processes that allow everyone to give input lead to the most agreeable and mutually beneficial results.

2. St. Jude Children's Research Hospital is seriously awesome.  Tridelta's philanthropy is children's cancer charities so in addition to volunteering at and donating to local pediatric oncology hospitals and programs, we had a partnership with St. Jude.  St. Jude is a research hospital so it is a last resort for some children who have conditions that are very hard to treat.  They NEVER turn a patient away due to inability to pay.  Tridelta has done some really awesome stuff at the hospital, raising 10 million dollars in our 10 in 10 initiative so quickly that we changed it to 10 by 10 (aka 2010).  It took only 6 (or 7?  I'm not 100% sure) years instead of the hoped for 10 to raise 10 million dollars.  I'm so proud to have been a part of that effort and relationship.

3. Always look for common ground.  Since I graduated from college I have come across fellow Tridelts in lots of place.  A law school classmate, a friend's girlfriend, someone in my group exercise class.  Most of these women were people I wouldn't have met, wouldn't have talked to, if we hadn't found out that we were both tridelts.  But I have often ended up finding that we had much more in common than our love for triangles.  When you give people an opportunity, when you open up, people will surprise you.

4.  Shirts with frockets are far superior to their frocketless counterparts.  This is simply fact.   (Frocket = front pockets or frat pockets depending on who you ask.)

5. I am strong.  Women are strong.  We do not need men to lead us, to teach us, to organize us.  We can do it on our own.  In this group of women, run entirely by women, we got shit done.  I don't just mean we planned parties.  We mediated disputes between members, we planned charity fundraisers, we competed in intramural sports, we generally kicked ass.  We supported one another through marriages, dating, break ups, pregnancy scares and abortions, stressful classes, graduate school and job choices, parent's divorces, deaths of family and friends and many many other major life changes and struggles.  This is a big one for me, especially when I am confronted with people who assert that sororities are "unfeminist."  

I was a member of the Gamma Psi chapter of Delta Delta Delta.  Sometimes it was frustrating, or annoying.  Sometimes I didn't want to go to chapter and sometimes I thought the leadership made bad decisions.  But overall, I think I came out of the experience a better and stronger person.  I also think that being a sorority woman made me more of a feminist, not less.   I'm not saying greek life is right for everyone.  I'm not saying that awful things don't happen within the greek system.  But I am saying, emphatically so, that I am a radical feminist greek woman and I'm here to stay.