In Defense of Greek Life

Over the weekend, I went to the gym (shocker, I know).  On my way in, I passed a group of women who I assume, based on their dress and proximity to the Greek village, were on their way to Sorority Rush.  The greek women of The University of South Carolina have been out in force, wearing their letters and repping their respective sororities like champs since the start of classes.  It makes me miss my sorority.  I know that some of you are thinking, "She's greek?  But she's so feminist and liberal.  I thought sororities were hazing-ridden trophy wife training grounds."

Look, I know that horrible things happen in greek organizations.  They also happen within sports organizations, student groups and classrooms.  Hazing sucks.  It's an evil, mean spirited cycle of hate and violence.  I support efforts by schools, universities and the legislature to stamp it out.  But I get so frustrated when people insist that hazing defines the greek experience.  I hate it when articles talk about greek women like we're all idiots for enduring hazing.  First, not all greek women experience hazing and assuming that your experience (or the experience of someone you know or read about) can be extrapolated to all of us is exceedingly unfair.  Second, even in the case of members of greek organizations who have experienced hazing, what makes you think it is your place to judge them?  The psychology of abuse is incredibly complex.  So please try not to judge others or look down on them for not leaving violent or oppressive situations.  You don't know what you would do in their shoes until you have actually been in their shoes.  Again, let me say here that I know everyone has different life experiences and thus every sorority woman and fraternity man will experience greek life differently.  I want to make it clear that I do not presume to speak for anyone but myself.

Because of the hazing issue, some articles I have read have come right out and said that being a greek woman and being a feminist are mutually exclusive. Apparently I can't be both.  But I am.  (I've decided this makes me a mythical creature of some sort, like an elf or a centuar.  I did always want to be Galadriel.)  So I call bullshit.  I'm a feminist (a radical feminist according to a survey we took in my feminist philosophy class).  I'm also a Delta Delta Delta.  I cannot and will not give up or compromise either of these identities.  So to help people understand this, I want to talk about some of the things that I learned from my sorority.

Things Tridelta Taught Me:

1. My opinion is valuable.  And the opinions of others are equally valuable.  Decision making processes that allow everyone to give input lead to the most agreeable and mutually beneficial results.

2. St. Jude Children's Research Hospital is seriously awesome.  Tridelta's philanthropy is children's cancer charities so in addition to volunteering at and donating to local pediatric oncology hospitals and programs, we had a partnership with St. Jude.  St. Jude is a research hospital so it is a last resort for some children who have conditions that are very hard to treat.  They NEVER turn a patient away due to inability to pay.  Tridelta has done some really awesome stuff at the hospital, raising 10 million dollars in our 10 in 10 initiative so quickly that we changed it to 10 by 10 (aka 2010).  It took only 6 (or 7?  I'm not 100% sure) years instead of the hoped for 10 to raise 10 million dollars.  I'm so proud to have been a part of that effort and relationship.

3. Always look for common ground.  Since I graduated from college I have come across fellow Tridelts in lots of place.  A law school classmate, a friend's girlfriend, someone in my group exercise class.  Most of these women were people I wouldn't have met, wouldn't have talked to, if we hadn't found out that we were both tridelts.  But I have often ended up finding that we had much more in common than our love for triangles.  When you give people an opportunity, when you open up, people will surprise you.

4.  Shirts with frockets are far superior to their frocketless counterparts.  This is simply fact.   (Frocket = front pockets or frat pockets depending on who you ask.)

5. I am strong.  Women are strong.  We do not need men to lead us, to teach us, to organize us.  We can do it on our own.  In this group of women, run entirely by women, we got shit done.  I don't just mean we planned parties.  We mediated disputes between members, we planned charity fundraisers, we competed in intramural sports, we generally kicked ass.  We supported one another through marriages, dating, break ups, pregnancy scares and abortions, stressful classes, graduate school and job choices, parent's divorces, deaths of family and friends and many many other major life changes and struggles.  This is a big one for me, especially when I am confronted with people who assert that sororities are "unfeminist."  

I was a member of the Gamma Psi chapter of Delta Delta Delta.  Sometimes it was frustrating, or annoying.  Sometimes I didn't want to go to chapter and sometimes I thought the leadership made bad decisions.  But overall, I think I came out of the experience a better and stronger person.  I also think that being a sorority woman made me more of a feminist, not less.   I'm not saying greek life is right for everyone.  I'm not saying that awful things don't happen within the greek system.  But I am saying, emphatically so, that I am a radical feminist greek woman and I'm here to stay.